Beckinfield Times

highs in the lower 70's

Varsity Football Team's Identity Crisis Intensifies

Martha Collins, Beckinfield High School principal, confirmed that the official name change of the high school varsity football team would take place at the beginning of the 2013 school year. The “Beckinfield Lake Monsters” will take the field in the fall. The Pound Dogs, the unofficial fan club of the team, is up in arms over the change. The team has won the division championship three years running. Fans are afraid of jinxing the chance for a four-peat, and, frankly, many are quite fond of the current name of their beloved Snarling Beagles.

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Kippart and Whiteglass Are Two Starla-Crossed Lovers

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Dr. Kippart, the fiery redheaded leader of the group of scientists that supposedly left town months ago, was caught coming out of the submarine at Hidden Star Lake on Friday morning. To add to the scandal, Chief Bill Whiteglass of the Beckinfield Volunteer Fire Department followed her out of the sub.

Late in the afternoon, Whiteglass called a press conference and said that Dr. Kippart had presented him with new evidence that Starla actually exists. When asked by the press to reveal the evidence, Whiteglass said that Kippart had a bit more work to do before revealing her evidence.

Could we finally get unequivocal proof of the existence of Starla, or is this all just an elaborate cover-up of an affair between the two?

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Local Musician Determined to Have a Record to His Name

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Groundly Pagnia has been arrested. The budding rock star was inebriated and caused another late-night scene in a local tavern. Surprisingly, his band, Cul-de-sac, has been unable to come up with bail to get him released. The nine additional members couldn’t scrape together the cash. Police Chief Russell Banter had promised to get Groundly off the streets and now seems perfectly content to keep him behind bars for as long as possible. There has been no word from Groundly’s manager Reginald Alvis.

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Harvey Kanz -- Starla Witness?

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Harvey “Greybeard” Kanz was spotted late Saturday night on the basketball court that now covers the cornfield originally owned by town founder Bradford Beckin. Since his success at Macworld, Greybeard has hinted to his coworkers at Blondie’s coffee shop that he is going to resume the project that he calls his life’s work. He claims that he is close to a breakthrough.

No one knows for sure what that work is, but his experiments-gone-wrong last year on Starslope Road still loom large in everyone’s mind. Talk is also circulating about whether the “Harvey” mentioned in the play The Legends of Beckinfield indeed refers to Greybeard. This would make him one of the earliest-known abductees of Starla, the legendary lake creature.

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'Legends' Rehearsals Under Way

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Rehearsals are under way for the Beckinfield Little Theatre production of The Legends of Beckinfield. However, rehearsals are slow-moving because of the need for all three sets of lead actors to swap places to learn their staging. Each night the leads rotate in and out during rehearsals. But the turnout and enthusiasm of the massive ensemble has been terrific, even as Director Dylan Marks insists on numerous rewrites to hone the play toward his vision of artistic perfection.

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