Beckinfield Times

highs in the upper 60's

Expect a Long Playbill

Rehearsals begin this week for The Legends of the Beckinfield. Director Dylan Marks surprised everyone when he decided to triple cast the play. Each week a different group of actors will be portraying the six leading characters. Performances will be Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays beginning March 16 and ending on April 1. Rehearsals will be in the evenings at the newly renovated Beckinfield Little Theatre.

Impressed by all the talent at the auditions, Dylan also added many roles to the supporting ensemble.

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Rose Banter Gets Her Own 'Celebrity Apprentice'

Rose Banter continues to paint Primbobi symbols anywhere she can find a blank space in town. Now another companion has joined her. Marta Marks follows her wherever she goes. The wife of The Legends of Beckinfield director Dylan Marks has tried to imitate Rose’s paintings, but her attempts are woefully inadequate. Instead, she now simply carts the numerous cans of paint from building to building.

In a sense, this once sophisticated and aloof woman, who had rarely set foot out of a big city, has become Beckinfield’s version of Sancho Panza to Rose’s Don Quixote.

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This Is Certainly Not Puppy Love

When die-hard members of the Puppies, the co-ed junior high soccer team, showed up to Destiny Crest in hopes of a long-neglected practice session, they found Dr. Kippart and Chief Bill Whiteglass of the Beckinfield Volunteer Fire Department playing a match on the shuffle board court in the middle of the field.

When the kids asked if the couple could play some other time, Dr. Kippart made it clear that they were there first. She suggested the kids return another day, as the Chief and the scientist had just started an extended shuffleboard tournament.

Unruffled, the nomadic young players left again in search of a place to practice the sport they love.

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Harvey "iBeard" Kanz Returns from Macworld

Harvey “Greybeard” Kanz has returned triumphant from Macworld. His cookies were the hit of the trade show, and, oddly, everyone who took a sample cookie ended up purchasing his recipe app! He sold dozens. But he came back with hundreds of leftover cookies. A new sign went up in the front window of Blondie’s coffee shop: “Dozen free cookies with every cup of coffee – while supplies last or until the cookies crumble.”

Now that the streets have been cleared of Groundly and his band’s motorcycles, the shop is slowly starting to do business again.

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Gang Warfare in Beckinfield?

Groundly Pagnia and his band Cul-de-sac continued to wreak havoc. Apparently they are still in a downward spiral since producer Reginald Alvis temporarily shelved their debut album. Groundly and his cohorts have been on a motorcycle rampage around Beckinfield. For the last week they have been terrorizing the patrons of Blondie’s coffee shop.

When Reginald attempted to stop by for coffee on Saturday morning, the group wouldn’t let their producer pass. Reginald left without incident. However, not long after the music producer left, two-dozen members of Alvis Aegis Security arrived and threatened to forcefully remove the band members. Instead of backing down, Groundly and the band held their ground, in an engine-revving standoff.

Just as things threatened to explode, a dozen police cars containing the full force of the Beckinfield Police Department arrived.

Chief Banter quickly took control of the situation, threatening incarceration if both sides of this seeming gang war didn’t disperse immediately. Both sides, having had recent run-ins with Beckinfield law enforcement, left peacefully. A full-time police car has been stationed outside of Blondie’s.

But concerns are growing that gang warfare might be beginning in Beckinfield.

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